


stay with me

by irnhero



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Mob Boss Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 17:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19891438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irnhero/pseuds/irnhero
Summary: Something wasn’t right.That was Tony’s first thought when he woke up to an empty bed at fuck-all-o’clock in the morning. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling - not by a long shot - but it was no less unpleasant, no matter how many times it happened. Especially here, now, where they should be safe, should be happy, should be sleeping soundly through the night together.It’s supposed to be over now.





	stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> big thanks to fanfictiongreenirises for being an awesome beta!
> 
> thanks so much for reading, comments and kudos appreciated!

Something wasn’t right.

That was Tony’s first thought when he woke up to an empty bed at fuck-all-o’clock in the morning. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling - not by a long shot - but it was no less unpleasant, no matter how many times it happened. Especially here, now, where they should be safe, should be happy, should be sleeping soundly through the night together. 

_ It’s supposed to be over now. _

Tony sat up in bed, letting the not-warm-enough covers fall away and scanning the room as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Everything was calm and still. He could have heard a pin drop if not for the sound of ocean waves crashing on the rocks below the open french doors. Steve liked to keep them open. White noise helped him sleep.

Steve.  _ Danger. _

He’d done this before; woken to that tugging feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one telling him  _ danger danger danger  _ and (after dissolving into a panic) found that nothing was afoot. That they were safe, like they should be. It was hard to get used to that, to being safe all the time. Harder than he’d expected it to be. Steve still wasn’t used to it, maybe never would be. That was why every floor-level exterior door in the house had at least three locks on it. And why they had the best 24/7 private security money could buy. And why they’d moved across the country. 

Five years ago, Tony had the incredible fortune (or misfortune, depending on your prerogative) to quite literally stumble into the love of his life on a busy New York street. Steve had apologized about a thousand times and offered to pay for the drycleaning that would most certainly be necessary (Tony’s silk shirt was ruined). He’d blushed like a schoolgirl when Tony suggested Steve buy him dinner sometime instead.

When Tony though about that day now, he always wondered how a mob boss could blush so much at something so innocent.

‘Mob boss’ was Tony’s word for it, at least. Steve wasn’t a fan of the terminology. The papers called Steve ‘The Captain’, champion of the people and leader of Shield. The Captain and his team were responsible for taking down drug rings, killers, rapists, trafficking cells, crooked cops, CEOs, and anyone else the law couldn’t (or wouldn’t) handle. 

Steve had put off telling Tony the truth about his work for months. He’d been so sure Tony would leave him, convinced himself that no one could possibly want anything to do with him and the life he led. Of course, he had no idea just how far Tony had fallen in only a matter of months. There was nothing at all in this world or the next that could turn Tony away from Steve - and he told him as much when Steve finally spilled the beans. Tony would be by his side forever, no matter what.

It had been thrilling at first. The work Steve did leading Shield was dangerous and he was reluctant to include Tony at all but Steve soon came to realize he loved a man just as stubborn as he was. 

Tony had  _ loved  _ it in the beginning, working outside the law to bring their own brand of justice to those who had deserved it. It was all very Bonnie and Clyde and one hell of a rush, nothing like it in the world. They’d even made lifelong friends, ones Tony wouldn’t give up for the world. But they’d been so young then. So Naive.

It was like a drug. The high had been  _ fantastic _ , but the come-down was utterly devastating. 

One year ago, almost to the day, Tony had all but snapped. He couldn’t stand it anymore, wondering if each day would be their last, praying to no one that Steve would come back to him after every job. The fear was eating him alive. That night when Steve came home, Tony begged him to stop. Begged him to leave it behind, to run away with him somewhere safe, somewhere they could be together and forget.

And Steve had.

He’d chosen a new leader for Shield and set things in order. Within a few months, they were looking at California beach houses and buying  _ ridiculously  _ overpriced furniture. Tony had never been so happy in his life.

And now, as he crept down the last few stairs feeling the cool tile beneath his bare feet, he saw that happiness shattering around him.

The living room was dark save for one end table lamp shining yellow light onto a broad-shouldered figure on the couch. Steve’s back was to Tony but his reflection in the massive windows in front of him revealed what he was inspecting. It was a gun. And Steve was loading it.

“Why do you have a gun?” Tony tried his best to keep his voice steady and free of accusation. He wasn’t exactly what one would call ‘successful’.

There had to be an explanation right? Some perfectly normal reason that Steve was up and dressed in the middle of the night loading one of their (many) guns that were supposed to be for emergencies only (which this was clearly not). Right?

Steve started a bit and turned his gaze up to Tony’s reflection in the window. He tried a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, what are you doing up? You can go back to bed; everything’s alright.” Steve turned back to his task, trying for nonchalance, but he had to know it wasn’t working. Tony knew him too well and the tension was audible.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Tony took another few steps forward. His heart raced in his chest.

“I’m just cleaning it. Go back to bed, i’ll be up soon.” Steve didn’t look up but his shoulders stiffened further.

Now that he’d had a few more moments to take in his surroundings, Tony noticed Steve’s state of dress. Black shirt and pants, heavy-duty boots, and his holster. Tony didn’t even know he still had his holster.

“Now you’re lying to me.” Tony was angry now. Whatever Steve was up to was bad enough but now he was trying to lie right to Tony’s face? Not acceptable. “What’s going on?”

Steve set the gun carefully on the table beside him and took a deep breath before he spoke. 

“Please just go back to bed, sweetheart. I’ll take care of it, I promise.” His voice wavered ever so slightly. He sounded tired. And scared.

“Is this about that call yesterday? You said it was nothing.” Tony rounded the couch and stood between the gun-laden coffee table and Steve.

Steve had left him during dinner a few nights ago to take a call of the back porch. It was a long call and he had seemed agitated when he finally returned but when Tony asked, Steve had insisted all was well. Tony didn’t bother to press because he could trust Steve to tell him if something was wrong, he knew he could. Or, he’d thought he could, at least. Apparently not.

Steve sighed and leaned forward, forearms resting heavily on his knees and wringing his hands like he did when he was nervous. He looked so weary, so desperate for rest.

“I’m keeping a promise.” He said with a tone of finality, like it was that simple. It was anything but.

Tony felt the bottom of his stomach fall into nothingness and a crushing ache gripped his heart. They were calling him back. Shield was calling their Captain back.

He knew it had all been too good to be true, even if he hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself before. The past year had been like a dream, a perfectly happy dream. But sooner or later, everyone has to wake up.

“What about what you promised me?” Tony gave up on any semblance of composure or control, letting his voice tremble and his hands shake. “You promised all this was over, you promised we were done.”

Steve finally looked up, his tired blue eyes meeting Tony’s fearfully frantic ones. 

“You know I can’t just abandon them, not if they need me. I can’t.” Steve may have been tired, sad, even afraid. But there was no wavering in his eyes. He had made his mind up and there would be no changing it now.

That didn’t mean Tony couldn’t try.

“What about that promises they made you?” Tony kneeled in front of Steve and took both his hands, winding their fingers together tightly. “They promised to leave us alone, they promised we could be free, free of all of this.”

Even as the words left Tony’s lips, they felt silly. Naive. There’s no getting away from that life. There is no ‘free’.

Steve dropped his eyes to their hands and spoke in a quiet, thin voice. “They wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important.” 

“No, no, don’t say that.” Tony ducked his head slightly to recapture Steve’s gaze. “It’s always important; it’s always life or death.”

Tony leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, almost too hard. “They can’t do this to you. To us.” Anger gave an edge to Tony’s next words. “I won’t let them. I won’t let them drag you back into this.”

Steve let his eyes fall closed and melted into Tony’s touch for a few moments. Tony felt the tension rolling off of Steve in waves. The weight on him was all but visible.Tony raised a hand to Steve’s cheek and brushed it gently with the pad of his thumb. 

“Come back to bed.” He spoke softly now. “You don’t have to do this, just put the gun away and come back to bed.”

Steve shook his head slightly, putting hardly and inch between his face and Tony’s. He turned his face under Tony’s hand and kissed his palm so gently.

“I can’t. I wish I could, I want to-”

“Then do it!” Tony interrupted, maybe too loud for such close quarters, but he didn’t care. 

“I just can’t.” Tears welled in Steve’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He pulled Tony’s hand down from his face to meet the other and cradled them both in his own.

“Please, just come back to bed.” Tony was truly begging now. 

“I’m so sorry.” Steve’s face crumpled, like Tony’s words were cutting into him, like it hurt.

“You can’t go, you promised me.” 

_ This can’t be happening. It wasn’t enough time. We need more time.  _

“I have to.” Steve stood slowly from the couch and Tony’s hands slipped from his hold.

Tony felt so helpless, so hollow, he couldn’t even bring himself to cry. His whole world was slipping away from him in a single moment and there was nothing he could do. Nothing but watch as it walked out the door.

“Stay with me,” Tony tried again in a small voice. “Please stay, you promised.”

Steve bent over and dropped one last kiss into Tony’s mess of hair. He was really going. This was it, their peaceful bubble popped at last. Tony couldn’t believe it, how quickly everything could fall apart. How just a few minutes can ruin your life.

“I’m sorry.” Steve’s voice was so pained, but farther away now. Tony looked up from the couch cushions in front of him and saw Steve standing by the open door, looking back at Tony mournfully.

“Please,” Tony’s last plea was barely a whisper. He couldn’t bring himself to say more.

“I love you.” And Steve was gone.

And he took everything with him.

**Author's Note:**

> reblog here [xxx](https://irnhero.tumblr.com/post/186435863157/why-do-you-have-a-gun-for-the-angst-prompts)


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